The return to intimate life after childbirth occurs gradually.
Many couples will no longer have sex as before.
The point is not at all a loss of interest in the sexual partner, but in a changed, more mature attitude to each other.
Parents are united by a special spiritual relationship.
Why do parents pull with the beginning of an intimate life after childbirth?
A common problem of young parents is a prolonged lack of intimacy after the return of the mother and baby from the maternity hospital. What's happening? Did the former fervor fade and intimacy no longer attract spouses?
Not at all, and love will take its toll. Parents pull with intimacy for physiological and psychological reasons. Of course, physiology is primary: a female body that has suffered extreme stress needs time to recover.
The following happens:
• after delivery for about two months, the uterus is cleansed: discharge (lochia) are gradually fading;
• the perineum after childbirth is injured, so any penetration brings pain;
• Through tears, external and internal sutures on the uterus, infection can easily penetrate.
Spouses have to wait until the woman’s body is ready again for intimacy, and this is normal. But when the recovery period is behind, and the intimate life has not begun, this indicates the presence of psychological discomfort. Some spouses miss the physiological period when you can begin an intimate life after childbirth.
A young mother does not seek to resume sexual activity for several reasons:
• her priorities have changed. Now the main person in the life of a young mother is her child, so she does not think about either her pleasure or the pleasure of her husband. This is the same maternal instinct that turns on after the appearance of a newborn in the life of a young mother;
• complex about a changed body. Excess weight, tummy, stretch marks, postoperative sutures seriously affect self-esteem. Avoiding intimacy, a woman simply defends herself, not wanting to accept herself new;
• postpartum depression. It is difficult for a woman to admit that life has irrevocably changed and will never be simple and carefree. The burden of responsibility for the child is very large;
• chronic fatigue, from which a woman literally falls down. Mom’s duties now have to be combined with the duties of the hostess, who has not been canceled. Well, if there is anyone to help. And if not? Not only the body gets tired: the emotional sphere is also subjected to a tremendous load.
Scientists have found that during breastfeeding, hormones are released in the body of a woman that cause sensations similar to orgasm. A woman may refuse to have intimacy with her husband because she simply does not need her.
And what about the husband? It would seem that he should glow with passion. Nine months of gestation plus the postpartum period: is this not enough time to miss your beloved well? Yes and no. For a man, too, a difficult period began. It’s not even that he feels superfluous and very jealous. A loving husband is often afraid to hurt a woman with an awkward touch, and he may also feel guilty that he wants sex.
In any case, an intimate pause is a completely normal occurrence. Spouses need time to get used to the new situation. When stress subsides, the desire for intimacy will surely return. In addition, it is important to prepare for an intimate life after childbirth in order to properly start having sex.
Intimate life after childbirth: when can I start?
Even if a woman is ready to rush into the arms of her beloved immediately after returning from the hospital, you should not do this. It is no coincidence that gynecologists call a very definite period when you can begin an intimate life after childbirth. By the fortieth day after delivery, the lochia should end. As soon as the bleeding stops, we can recall the physical side of the marriage.
The woman’s body is unique, so when it will be possible to resume sexual intercourse, it is impossible to say in advance. On average, in order to avoid tears, bleeding, inflammation and infection, you can enjoy each other after 6 or even 8 weeks from the time of delivery. At this point, cleansing bleeding should stop. If after sex the discharge appears again, you must definitely visit a gynecologist.
Important, that we are talking about safe birth, when the uterus and vagina quickly recovered and were not harmed. If there are gaps, you need to wait for the complete healing of the joints.
The peculiarity of this period is that a negative reaction of a woman is possible:
• dry vaginal walls;
• strong pain;
• the discomfort.
In the first case, we are talking about insufficient production of estrogen, which provides sexual arousal. Gradually, the body will return to its usual state, but for now it is worth using a variety of intimate means. Lubricant gels in the postpartum period can be an excellent solution to the problem, help spouses restore their previous relationship.
As for pain and discomfort, that with complaints you need to go to the doctor. Perhaps you should not worry: you just need to wait a little more time. If several months have passed since the birth, and the closeness still causes pain, diagnosis is required. Perhaps this is vaginitis.
When can I start having sex after cesarean section?
A caesarean section is a complete surgical intervention. The abdomen and uterus are cut, but the muscles of the vagina remain intact. This is related to differences in sensations from sex between women who gave birth naturally and those whose labor was operative.
Recovery may take a longer time. If the operation was carried out carefully, cosmetic sutures were applied, then everything is simple. The term for returning to an intimate life after childbirth, when you can again enjoy intimacy, is the same as for natural childbirth: 8-6 weeks.
But this is very averaged data, because the body's response to the operative birth is individual. Some women easily get up to the child already on the third day after discharge from intensive care, others any movement still causes pain 3-4 weeks after surgery.
The most correct approach is to do an ultrasound examination of the uterus to make sure the scarring is normal and to see if it will be dangerous to return to intimate life after childbirth. How to start having sex, the doctor can also tell. Sometimes it will be possible to return to a full sexual life only after six months. Do not forget about possible complications.
How to start having sex after childbirth?
So, the couple is ready to resume an intimate life after childbirth. How to start having sex? If we are talking about natural childbirth, accompanied by ruptures or incisions of the perineum, then the pain may persist for some time.
Discomfort can be caused by weakening of the muscles of the hips, vagina, and abdomen. Therefore, bold experiments must be abandoned. The traditional poses facing each other or the position of the man from behind is what is needed to resume sexual life. It is important to choose a position that does not cause pain.
Strangely enough, women who have had an operative birth experience great difficulties. Yes, the vagina is not injured and not stretched, but this does not relieve the problem of dry walls.
A cut on the uterus can make itself felt if the position for sex is chosen poorly. Postoperative suture, internal screeds may also bother. Spouses need to be very careful at the moment of intimacy: to avoid pressure on the stomach, tension of the press. The role of a man should be more active: he will have to take care of his partner. Deep penetration is contraindicated.
There is another delicate point that you should definitely know about, returning to an intimate life after childbirth. How to start making love is one question. Another - what to do if the pain brings not the closeness itself, but its climax? The fact is that after surgery on the uterus, its reduction during orgasm can be very painful and even provoke bleeding. Too stormy finishes can cause seams to diverge.
In any case, the man should be very gentle and unhurried. In the future, it will be possible to return to the usual style of relations. But in the first weeks this is unacceptable.
Intimate life after childbirth, when you can again enjoy the sexual side of marriage, each couple begins in their own way. But if the spouses are attached to each other, experience love and tenderness, they will surely cope with possible difficulties.
