Are there people who have never experienced jealousy? Probably not. And this is not surprising, because we want to be the only ones, to completely take over our partner, to enjoy relationships, without experiencing betrayal.
But what if jealousy arises in relation to the past of a loved one and how is this feeling justified?
Jealousy for the past of your partner: what is it like
Jealousy, whatever it may be, is always the result of low self-esteem, self-doubt and distrust of the world. Jealous people, without knowing it, doom themselves to long and painful suffering. But if jealousy of the present can be understood and eliminated, then jealousy of the partner’s past is confusing.
Such a feeling often has no ground beneath it. Jealousy will not provide evidence or explain the reason for their negative emotions. Often, they fantasize and come up with a colorful and happy past for their partner, which abruptly disappeared with the advent of a new passion.
Jealousy for the past is a much more complex feeling than jealousy for the present. A person is immersed in his fantasies, inventions, thereby constantly subjecting himself to stress and gloomy thoughts. Do not forget about the fate of the partner, whose past is the cause of all the troubles in the relationship. Often, a loved one considers jealousy of his past - stupidity. He is irritated, he does not like that his past, after a certain amount of time, flashes again in life.
Feeling jealous of the past of your partner, you need to work on yourself, otherwise the relationship will fail, because not every person is ready to deal with cockroaches in your head and endure eternal claims.
Why there is jealousy for the past partner: the main reasons
To start working on a problem and forget about it once and for all, you need to find out the cause and get rid of its negative impact. So, jealousy of the past of your partner can trigger the following factors:
• Psychological trauma
It often happens that one of the partners unexpectedly breaks up a relationship and returns to his former lover. Such stories are not uncommon and jealous of the past can be well heard about them. Moreover, with high probability - they are victims of such a situation. Having once experienced the betrayal of a loved one in the name of the past, such people are afraid of its repetition.
• Self-esteem problems
Low self-esteem creates self-doubt. People who do not love themselves believe that the former partner of a lover surpasses them in many ways. They try to find out as many details as possible, and later engaged in rethinking the information received and self-flagellation, more and more drives themselves into a state of jealousy of the past.
• Good relationships with ex-lovers
Yes, there are those who keep in touch with their former lovers. It is these people who provoke jealousy of the past with their partner. What remains to be done in this situation for those who are jealous? Thinking and making conclusions, that's all. Such communication is very often indicative of emotional attachment.
How to cope with jealousy of your partner’s past?
To cope with jealousy for the past of your partner is quite difficult, as it requires not only greater desire, but also colossal and difficult work on your own self-esteem. It should be noted that the path to getting rid of this problem is better to start with a psychologist, since an incorrectly drawn up action plan to achieve the goal will entail a number of failures that, as a result, will reduce enthusiasm and kill self-confidence.
The first thing you need to understand: why are you jealous of the past of your partner? The most common cause is self-doubt and low self-esteem. We need to work on this.
It is necessary to rethink oneself, work on the external appearance, gain new impressions and only then, with a sense of new life, begin to correct one's self-esteem. Understand that you are unique, despite the flaws. Analyze the qualities of your character: what needs to be eliminated, which should be emphasized, and maybe there are those that, being objective defects, can become subjective virtues.
Do not forget about the present. Think about the fact that if your partner is now with you, then between the past and the present - he chose the latter. A loved one can leave you, in some cases, he is even able to return parts of a past lifestyle, but, despite this, he remains in alliance with you and, most likely, satisfied. Recognize that you are happy and the past does not attract a soul mate.
Learn to respect your partner’s past. Think about the reason for the hatred of what was in the life of a loved one. It is very important to understand that the past has created the one you love so much now. Perhaps in a former relationship he learned to listen and hear, or acquired some important personality trait. Understand that your partner, his qualities and traits were formed by the very thing - the past you hated. Learn to thank the past of a loved one and take the fruits with dignity.
Try to control yourself, because it is important. Experiencing negative emotions or suppressing negative feelings, you only provoke the development of various diseases of the nervous system, violate the emotional background. It is necessary to be able to correctly express your feelings and emotions, otherwise with the onset of diseases, the quality of life will be severely impaired, the occurrence of depressive and frustrating conditions, the predominance of a pessimistic assessment of the surrounding events. In the case when such a manifestation already takes place, it is necessary to consult a specialist.
Thus, we found out that jealousy for the past of our partner lies in the personal problems of the jealous, which must be quickly addressed.
